By Gil Gordon1

I am not an office worker or a telemarketer.

And I don't sit in traffic jams or squeeze into a train,

And I don't know Jimmy, Sally, or Susie who also telework,

Although I am certain they are really, really nice.

I have a view of my backyard, not of the parking lot.

I work when I'm most effective, not when everyone else does.

And I pronounce it "telework," not "telly-work."

I can proudly leave my car in the driveway.

I believe in results, not busywork;

Work time, not face time;

And that the teleworker is a proud and noble employee!

Teleworkers are the second largest group of mobile workers,

The first wave of the smarter way to work,

And the best part of the workplace of the future!

MY NAME IS GIL AND I AM A TELEWORKER!!

(My thanks to Bob Fortier for first suggesting this "translation" of The Rant and for his help with my various attempts to do so. However, if anyone is offended by it in any way, I take full responsibility." Gil Gordon)

¹For anyone who might not know, Gil Gordon is the New-Jersey based Guru of telework, and of keeping unstressed.  His superb website is worth the visit.